This is a transcribed copy of the episode "Shush Ninjas".
Feel free to add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
(The Bears Walk in to a movie theater screening room)
Grizzly: Hey, we're not in the center, turn back.
Grizzly: Oh boy, I've been waiting two years for this movie!
Panda: I've been playing the trailer on loop as I sleep.
Ice Bear: Shhh.
Grizzly: Oh yeah, sorry.
Voice: Welcome to the feature presentation. Please be courteous. Turn off all your cellphones, and refrain from talking. Thank you.
[The movie starts. People walk in as peaceful music plays. Titled "EUROPE". Cuts to chase scene. Cars driving. Someone is trying to open a wrapper, and the Bears look around to try and find the source of the noise. A girl is shown slurping an empty drink.]
Guy: Oh, this is the part where he finds his father.
[Another guy props his feet on Panda's chair, and kicks it. A girl is looking at her notably bright phone, which Ice Bear squints at.]
Guy: Oh, and at the end of the movie, it was his brother the whole time.
[Some else coughs, the girl is still slurping loudly, a man is then shown snoring, Panda's chair keeps on getting kicked, and the girl from before is still on with her phone, while everyone but the bears is being loud so they leave the theater.]
Grizzly: Well, what's wrong with everyone? I couldn't hear a thing!
Panda: Dude, why is everyone so rude?
Ice Bear: Ice Bear wants his money back.
[The Bears walk up to where the manager is.]
Grizzly: Sir, we respectfully request your attention.
Panda: Theater 9 has become a cesspool of rowdiness!
Ice Bear: Ice Bear heard wrappers, not hip-hop.
Grizzly: We implore you, to restore order.
Manager: (sigh) I'm sorry. I can issue you a full refund, but I can't refund the way that world is.
Grizzly: But you're the Manager!
Panda: If anyone can do something, you can!
Manager: There was once a time when movies were special to people. When people acted with dignity in this public place. Going to the theater was a loved and time honored tradition. But that, was a long time ago.
[Grizzly and Panda cry a bit and then wipe their tears.]
Grizzly: Well, what if we helped?
Manager: [coughs] How could you possibly accomplish such a task?
Grizzly: We'll go into the theaters, we'll shush them with all our might!
Ice Bear: Ice Bear will shush, unshushable.
Panda: And we'll be completely hidden wearing these suits! [pulls out three black suits]
Grizzly: Where did you get those?
Panda: They're for our interpretive dance class!
Grizzly: This looks like it'll be tight, are they one size fits all?
Manager: They're perfect! These uniforms will strike fear into the hearts of noise-makers everywhere! Finally once again there is a chance to restore order to the world of cinema. Now go, and make the East Bay Cinema 13 proud!
[The scene shows the Bears putting on their suits.]
Grizzly: Listen up, it's our duty to make this theater as safe haven for movie-lovers once again. For our children and our children's children.
Panda: That was beautiful, you should write poetry.
Grizzly: What makes you think I haven't?
[They enter the theater.]
Girl in the Movie: But how can you do it, you're just one man!
[A man is making noise trying to open a wrapper and one of the bears opens it and then shushes him. A girl's phone is ringing and she answers it.]
[Panda is holding the phone that was calling her and he shushes her. A man is eating popcorn too loudly and two of the bears shush him. A man is snoring and also gets shushed. When a girl is trying to eat popcorn she is also shushed.]
Man: I think flowers on other first date are-
[Two of the bears shush him, and then are shown shushing all of the people who make noise. When they are done they leave the theater.]
The Bears: Yeah!
Panda: Wow, that was amazing. It totally worked!
Ice Bear: Ice Bear believes.
Grizzly: We did well brothers, but it's only the beginning. Behind each one of those doors is a new challenge waiting to meet true shushtice. We just gotta pick the next one to shush.
Panda: Ooh! You guys!
[Panda runs to a Solar Eclipse of the Night poster.]
Panda: This movie! It's the last one of the trilogy. It's a love story between two vampires if you, you guys look like you don't care.
Grizzly: Good idea Pan-Pan, let's split up! Away!
[Every bear goes into the theater with the movie they like. Grizzly runs into the door and shushes himself. He enters with sound effects playing in the movie. The scene shows the movie playing, and onto two viewers eating their popcorn, until Grizzly covers their mouthes and shushes them, somersaulting to another viewer, shushing him as he slurps his drink, and another viewer who is coughing.]
Viewer: [angrily] What, I was just coughing?
[Grizzly then jumps onto a seat, as an explosion plays in the movie, shushing the audience as he surveys the room.]
[The scene cuts to a golden grail containing TEAM JARED badges, two of which are picked up by two viewers, before they enter the room.]
Girl #1: Jared is so beautiful, he's prettier than me!
Girl #2: Yeah, I know!
[Once they enter, Panda emerges from his cover, with a slightly unhappy look on his face, until he turns towards the advertising depiction of Christopher.]
Panda: This is our year, Christopher!
[He picks a TEAM CHRISTOPHER badge out of the silver grail, putting it on before he enters the room, until he notices the depiction of Jared, looking back at it ominously.]
Panda: [darkly] Jared...
Girl: I hear there's more kissing in this movie-
[The viewers look towards the screen as the film starts, depicting the title on the intro and Christopher's Monologue.]
Christopher: "It is I, Christopher, yet another cold night, alone and unloved, but no matter what happens..."
[Panda lowers his mask, as his eyes glisten while watching the movie.]
Christopher/Panda: "The rain will always be my friend."
Girl: WE WANT JARED!
[The scene cuts to Ice, who is currently searching the hall for a film he might like until he notices The Devil's Pantalones, as well as hearing a person's phone ringing and vibrating from inside, so he enters.]
[He begins to search the room as to locate where the noise is emanating from.]
[The scene turns back to Grizzly's situation, as he shushes a viewer rests his elbow on the back of their seat, until he turns to a row of viewers heavily breathing as they watch the movie, in turn shushing them, even going so far as to shush a person for merely shutting their left eyelid.]
[The scene returns to Panda's situaton.]
Jared: I know that to you I may see cold and unfeeling, but it's only because that deep down, I yearn to be loved.
[The scene turns to Panda, chewing his popcorn in a manner of disgust, whilst watching the movie.]
Panda: Ugh, that Jared is so phony!
[The view moves to two viwers sitting next to him, holding eachother as they weep for Jared.]
Girl: [sobbing] Oh, Jared...
Panda: Shh! Don't root for him! He doesn't deserve eternal love like Christopher does!
Girl #2: Shh! Team Jared!
Panda: Shh! Team Christopher!
[An uproar begins from viewers behind him, as they root for Jared.]
Jared: When you leave, my heart weeps, so stay with me, my love...
[The viewers begin swooning, with Panda looking at them, puzzled.]
[The scene returns to Ice, still searching for the ringing phone, searching viewers belongings, foodstuffs and empty containers, even going so far as to rip off someone's wig from their head, before placing it back in regret, surveying the room from central position.]
[The scene returns to Grizzly, as he shushes an old lady, startling her, before moving on to a man, kicking his popcorn away from him, shushing him, forcing the man to walk out of the room angrily.]
Man: Agh, Unbelievable.
[Returns to Panda's crisis.]
Jared: Remember, Lara - if you ever drown, I would dog-paddle my way to your heart.
[Cuts to viewers seated behind Panda.]
Woman: Oh, Jared, you are SO perfect for Lara.
Panda: Shh! Jared's evil, Christopher is king!
Woman: Shh! No one is better than Jared! [pull out a poster] Look at these abs! Are these the abs of a villain!?
[The scene returns to Ice as he still searches for the phone by climbing up the backseat curtain to get a birds-eye-view of the room, until he notices the source of the noise, donning his mask once again in a Batman-like manner, before delivering the final blow.]
[The scene returns to Grizzly, who is surveying they back row from atop a seat as a vulture does it's prey, spotting a man about to sneeze, as he prepares to strike. It quickly returns to Panda, still arguing over Christopher VS Jared, returning to the man about to sneeze as other viewers shake their heads, signalling him not to sneeze, Grizzly watching him closely, going back to Ice ready to stop the ringing phone, Panda still arguing, and the man finally sneezes.]
[The scene returns to the viewer struggling to mute his phone.]
Man: I know theres a button to turn off the sound here...
[Ice swoops down from the curtain, who kicks the man's phone into the air as he reaches the floor, smashing it in half with a single uppercut. The scene then returns to Grizzly, who noticed the viewer who sneezed.]
[Ice still destroys the phone, before returning to Grizzly.]
Grizzly: Get out!
[The scene returns to Panda, who finally snatches the poster from the girl's hands, holding it in mid-air.]
Panda: THIS IS HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOUR PRECIOUS JARED!
[He rips the poster in half, causing the rest of the audience to gasp.]
Panda: TEAM CHRISTOPHER, FOREVER!!!!
[The audience begin booing at him him as they throw their food and drinks at him. The popcorn slows down as it rains, as Panda looks in shock, before lowering his head in sorrow.]
Panda: [repeating from before] "The rain will always be my friend..."
[Ice Bear is still violently finishing off the remains of the phone, as the remaining viewers flee for their safety. The scene returns to Grizzly.]
Grizzly: GET OUT! EVERYONE OUT! [breathing heavily from exhaustion]
[The room is revealed to be completely barren. Grizzly exits as the bears recovene.]
Grizzly: Phew, I think they got the message. How did it go for you Pan-Pan?
Panda: I hate vampires.
Ice: Ice Bear completed mission. Sort of.
[The Manager and his assistant arrive.]
Manager: Shushers, I'm sorry, but you must leave.
Grizzly: But we did it! We shushed them!
Manager: No, not like this. You shushed, irresponsibly. I thought you could help, but I was wrong. Wrong to hope...
Grizzly: But, Sir, we just tried to help-
Grizzly: We understand.
[The bears exit sadly.]
[The episode continues into the streets as the bears walk home, as they are completely surrounded by noise in the streets. Grizzly looks towards the traffic gloomily, until he bumps into a man, who walks away quite rudely whilst speaking to his mother over the phone.]
Man: Ugh, Mom, I don't care!
[The other bears see this. Ice is about to confront the man, but Panda stops him, implying it isn't worth it, as they both continue follow Grizzly. The screen fades to black.]
[The screen reappears, as the assistant from the cinema is rushing to find the bears, until he enters the doors of the public library. He looks around until he finds the three brothers, who are quietly reading books (obviously). He approaches them to deliver his message.]
Assistant: Guys, we need your help!
[The bears, and the other readers shush him.]
Assistant: [whispers] There's a situation at the theatre, only you three can handle it!
Grizzly: It is too late. We have retired to this quiet space.
Assistant: Guys, please! We're desperate! We need you...
[The assistant realises he can't change their minds, so he gets up.]
Assistant: [sighs] Ok. Here's your full refund. [places change on the table] The manager says thank you for trying.
[The assistant walks away, sadly. The bears lower their books and look at their change, as they look at eachother, reconsidering their answer. Grizzly emerges from his seat, before the assistant leaves the library.]
Grizzly: Refund! We dont want our change, we want to change The World! [Librarian shushes Grizzly] We'll do it!
[The assistant smiles with joy and relief. The scene cuts to the bears donning their suits once again, before returning to the cinema, as they burst through the doors.]
???: Who are they?
[The assistant escorts the bears to the room of the crisis.]
Assistant: This is it.
[The doors are rustling violently as a girl narrowly escapes from the room.]
Girl: [gasping for air] Don't go in there! It's madness!
[They look to her as she flees for her safety, before looking back to the door. The bears enter, but as they do so, they reveal their masks in absolute horror as they look onwards. The scene is revealed to be an entire crowd of young children who are wreaking havoc and misbehaving throughout the entire room. The manager is trying to silence the children.]
Manager: Please! Silence!
[He fails as he drowns beneath the kids. The bears also try to quiten the children, but they end up copying them disrespectfully, getting even rowdier, and even hissing and screaming at them. A kid is also running around with his shirt in mid air, who stops briefly as he notices the bears. Panda tries shushing him, but he bites and gnashes his teeth in retaliation, causing Panda to flinch, before he resumes again. The manager approaches the bears, with a bucket of popcorn on his head.]
Manager: It's too late. We're doomed. The magic of cinema, is dead. [lowers his head in defeat]
Grizzly: [thinking back to before] The magic of cinema - Oh, that's it! I've got an idea.
[The scene returns to two boys who are eating their food like animals - one of whom throws their nachos into mid-air, splatting onto the camera room's window, as the man looks down worried, until he notices Ice enter the room, who shuts off the camera and lights, causing the children to stop. Once the lights are switched back on, Grizzly and Panda appear on-stage, turning their atteintion towards the two brothers.]
Grizzly: "Movies - Why movies you ask? Why are we here in this dark, and kind of smelly room with total strangers? : We go to the movies to be part of something together! Just think of all the memories we've shared, all the times we've spread our imagination wings, and allowed ourselves to soar! -
[A montage of movie moments begin to play.]
- We've opened our arms to new adventures, filled with moments that warmed our hearts, moments that are windows to our past and help us shape our future - we are these characters. We understand all their imperfections. They love, like we love. There's no telling what mysteries will unfold,or who we'll meet along the way. But life is never boring when you go to the movies! -
[The scene returns to the bears.]
- In conclusion, who needs a telescope to look at the stars, when the stars shine brighter, at the movies.
Grizzly: Now who's ready to watch a movie.
[The children have finally been silenced, as they are all asleep in the position they were in during the havoc.]
Grizzly: I really thought I had something there...
[As the panic finally rests, the manager closes the doors to let them slumber. He then turns to the bears.]
Manager: [in delight] You gentlemen did it - you've shushed the unshushable! How can we ever repay you?
Grizzly: Our reward, is that justice has been served.
Panda: It was our duty, as movie watching citizens!
Ice: Ice Bear refuses price.
Manager: Please, there must be something I can give you?
[The bears look at eachother, reconsidering the offer.]
[The bears decided to watch the movie the originally wanted to watch. Grizzly coughs during the pursuit scene, who is then shushed by his brothers, as they resume watching the movie.]
[The End, credits roll.]